20 minutes before we
left Thailand, I was sitting in Wongen Café and talking to Gabe (a YWAM-er
living in the village with us) and thanking him for letting me use his guitar
the whole month. And out of the blue he asks me if I want his guitar. I thought this is crazy!I told him I asked God for a guitar for Cambodia. And he said I
could have it. I was going to take it in a snap, but at the same time I was
hesitant. Selfishly, I didn't want to carry it with me on the race. But at the
same time I knew I wasn't supposed to take it. So I told him how God provided
me a guitar so far on the race.
El
Salvador - Our contact had one. The funny thing is that she didn't know how to
play.
Honduras
- We were with our whole squad so guitars were plentiful.
Nicaragua
- Again, our contact had one.
Thailand
- Gabe had a guitar.
And he asked me,
"Is that something you want to trust God with?" I thought about it
quickly and genuinely, "Yes". I do
want to trust God with this. And then got on the bus to go to Cambodia.
We get to Cambodia
and I find out about the team change. And my first response to the team change
was actually excitement because God had answered my prayer! Through my new team, God gave me a guitar. And
one of my other prayers was also to get better at guitar playing. And God put
me on a new team with two guitar players
to be my teachers!
I think that's
partly why I had a lot of peace about the team change.
Please do pray for
my new team. Pray for unity, openness and a deep love for each other.
Pray that God will
continue to grow me in worship.
When you think you have the World Race figured out,
they hit you with something else. No one could have seen or expected.
I got switched teams
again.
We went through this
last month. Team changes. After the new squad leaders were raised up, a huge
reshuffle or our whole squad happened and we got new teams going into Thailand.
I thought this team is going to be permanent. I'm stuck with these people for
the rest of my race. But I was so wrong.
Nothing is permanent. NOTHING.
Nothing is a
guarantee. The people around you. And even your life. Time is fleeting. And
just like that, things can be taken away from you.
To be honest, last
month was so good but it wasn't easy. Ministry wise was easy for me personally,
but team wise it was hard. We were all living separately so it didn't really
feel like a team. I didn't feel like I was a part of my team. And it was hard to
get to know my teammates more. And I spent a lot of my time investing in the
ministry instead of my teammates. And for a while, I lived in a stage of
regret. Regretting that I wasn't intentional enough with my teammates.
But
God doesn't want us to live in a stage of regret. He wants us to live in full freedom. And part of living in full freedom is
to not look at the past anymore. I've come to the realization that there is
nothing I can do to change the last month and all I can do is give it up to God
and move on. And learn from all this.
I don't understand
why this happened to me. Out of everyone on the squad, I was one of two people
taken from their old teams and placed in new ones.
But
I do know that God is good. And He has a plan. And His plan is good.
So I'm moving
forward with my new team.
I'm
going to be intentional. I'm
going to be more bold. I'm
going to be more vulnerable.
I'm
going to make the most of every single moment I have with my new family.
because I don't know when they're going to be taken
away from me.
I don't really know how to start writing this blog. And a little part of me didn't want to write it because I don't want to scare you. But at the same time I need to share this with you because this is the reality.
It was a Sunday morning, April 15th to be exact. We've been living in the village for about 5 days now, living with our families, experiencing Songkran, the water festival and new year. Paige, Ada, and I [my teammates whom I'm living with] woke up bright and early. 5:30am. Got dressed but our host mom did not approve with our attire. She went into her cabinet in the little hallway and pulls out some traditional Thai clothes for the three of us. We cannot be wearing our "American clothes." Today we're going to the temple. And on top of the table were clear plastic bags filled with bags. Offerings to Buddha.
To be honest, I had an uneasy feeling about all of this. A part of me didn't really want to go. Today was MY day of worship to MY God. And not theirs. But at the same time I wanted to honor my host mom, so I sucked it up. But I as much as it was early and wasn't fully awake, I knew that I needed some time with Jesus. So I opened up my Bible and read the psalm I was going to read for the day. Psalm 46.
It's around 6:20am. We have our proper clothes on. We have our offerings in hand. And we're walking to the temple. As we are walking, I'm just talking to God. Praying. I don't remember what I prayed about, but I wanted reassurance that I was serving Jesus and through that, serving my host mom. In no way am I worshipping their god. We get to the temple after a short 5 minute walk. We see other people from our teams also with their host families and with offerings in hand. Our host mom motions for us to follow her. And so we do. We walk into a room where a monk is sitting down, facing us, and other people are sitting down facing the monk. We sit down and place our offerings down. The monk is reading a piece of paper and once he finishes reading, water in a bowl is sprinkled over the people. He was reading a blessing for the people. As this is all happening, I'm praying. Observing and praying. Praying for the people so intently listening to their blessing. Praying for the monk. Just praying.
Then that is when it started. I felt sick. I felt like I was going to throw up. I felt like I couldn't really breathe. I try to pray it off and keep saying Jesus' name, but it's not working. I whisper to Ada that I feel sick and she tells me to step outside. And so I get up and walk out of the room. But I couldn't just be outside of the room, I needed to be out of the entire temple. I felt better. And I start praying more. Praying for strength and Jesus' covering. And after a few minutes, I feel ok and ready to go back in.
I walked through the temple entrance toward the centre and started having a panic attack. I was hyperventilating and couldn't breathe. And then my head started hurting. But hurting unlike any headache I have ever experienced. And my arms got tingly and numb. And I knew I was being attacked. People from my teams took me outside and prayed for me. I finally calmed down and I'm still alive and I'm well, but I was spiritually attacked.
"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places." -- Ephesians 6:12
That verse has never been so real to me until that point in my life.
I can tell you that it was scary. I have been spiritually attacked before on the race, but this was a lot more intense. But I can also tell you that through this experience, God revealed a lot to me.
It made me realize how spiritually dark Thailand and the village of Mai Ai was. And it changed the way I did ministry. I knew I had to fight. And how do you fight? Through worship and prayer. So that's what I did. Picked up a guitar and worshipped. Because I believe that worship is a weapon. And that by worshipping and singing there is a shift in the spiritual realm.
I also learned that it was a privilege and gift to be able to feel the presence of darkness in a place. He spoke to me with Matthew13:16-17 which says "But blessed are you eyes, for they see, and your ears, for they hear. For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it."
And most of all I realized that I am a threat to satan. Me. A 23 year old Chinese girl. But I am powerful. Because the power and the Spirit of the Lord lives within me. And a part of my story is that me, my brother, and my mom are the first people in our family to break away from Buddhism. [To preface, I never practiced Buddhism nor did my immediate family, but definitely my great grandmother is a devout Buddhist.] And if I am able to break free from the generations of buddhists in my family then it is possible for ANYONE to.
The reality is that we are fighting a war. A war between light and dark. And at times, the war is tough. But in the end Jesus has a victory. Because if God is for us, who can be against us?
It's been about a week since I first arrived at this Thai village outside of the main city core of Chiang Mai.
I can tell you, its definitely NOT what I expected a Thai village to be like.
When we were told we were going to live in the rice fields, I pictured huts with no running water and not much electricity.
The reality is that we have running water. Lots of it. And electricity. We even have a tv in the house we're staying in. And the 7eleven is a 10minute walk away.
Yes. There are rice fields.
And no one really speaks English. There are a lot of hand gestures and by the end of this I think I'll be really good at charades.
But what I really want to share is that I've noticed there are some people missing here. Demographics missing. There's not a lot of teenagers. There's not a lot of people my age, twenty-somethings, or thirty year olds. There's some children. And a lot of older people. My host mom and dad are probably in their 50's. And the people around the village are all around that age. So where are the missing people?
And I've also noticed that its women that are missing here.
I don't know. I don't speak Thai and I can't ask them. Some of my speculations...
Some of them probably have gone to university. Some of the richer people in the village that are able to afford to send their kids to school do so.
Some of them probably moved out of the village and into the city where there are more opportunities.
And a sad possibility is that some of the women are working in the city as prostitutes. Human trafficked to bring money back to their family.
I don't know. I've never been able to really ask anyone here. These are just speculations but I think there is some truth to it.
I could not have
asked for a better way to spend my 23rd birthday.
I would have never thought that I would get to be so blessed to
have my birthday on our off day
and to be able to spend it on the BEACH!
swim in the Pacific Ocean and just be in Nicaragua!
And to top it off, I got to spend it with the most amazing sisters in Christ and hosts at New Life Center.
But I still have one more wish. I share the same birthday as my dad but he's not a Christian yet. I say yet because I believe somehow the Holy Spirit is working in his heart. So please pray that his heart will continually be softened and that one day he will come to accept Jesus as his personal Savior!
My birthday ended with some lovely people singing a birthday song to me in Spanish!
These are my friends
in Honduras. I would have never met them if they were still living on the
streets, but they live here now, at Zion's Gate. Each boy have lived some harsh
pasts that aren't their present now. These boys have a home now. These boys go to
school now. These boys know of Christ now.
If you look at these
boys you would not see their past. They might be a little rough around the
edges but what teenage boy isn't?
When I look at these
boys, I see love
I see joy
I see hope
I see dreams
I see change.
Each one of these
boys have dreams and I got to share in Fernando's dream of opening his own
bakery some day. Me, Melissa, and Lydia got to bake cookies with this inspiring
11 year old boy.
My time so far in Honduras, I've already seen God move within the city and on our
squad.
In this time, I have
witnessed my squadmates stepping out of their comfort
stepping out in boldness
stepping out in faith.
In this time, I have
witnessed myself stepping out of comfort
stepping out in boldness
stepping out in faith.
Some quick info
about our time in Honduras:
Our entire squad (44 people!)
are together this month
We are partnered with Zion's
Gate and we stay on their property
Zion's Gate does most of
their work with street kids and there are 4 kids that live here that are
living testimonies of how God is moving in Honduras
So a lot of our ministry will
be with street kids
At night we see the stars and
the city lit up as well. Honduras is a beautiful country.
This video captures our second week of ministry. We went into a community called Los Pinos and are helping to do a makeover for Herman's house. Herman is one of the street kids that now live in Zion's Gate. Our team and another team helped with securing the foundation of their house. This week, 2 more teams are in Los Pinos giving the house a fresh coat of paint!
Probably 3 weeks
into the race, it finally clicked that this is my life.
I get to tell people
about Jesus. I get to pray for people. I get to do ministry, however that looks
like!
Most importantly, I
get to love on people.
Because that's what
it's all about. Love.
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but
have not love. I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all
mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove
mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my
body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.
1 Corinthians 13:1-3
So this month. What
did I do? What did I see?
Ministry was varied.
We did random evangelism for an hour or 2 on certain days around our house and
downtown San Salvador. We got to meet people from all walks of life.
Consistently, every
Thursday morning, we would go to a brain paralysis centre. People of all ages
that have cerebral palsy are there. We would help the workers out to lend a
helping hand. Other days we did skits and brought music to the place. We got to
show love through hugs and just sitting with them. We also prayed healing upon
them. I don't know what healing will look like but I know that God can do the
impossible.
On Sundays, we would
go to church. We've had the opportunity to be involved at the youth services.
To share with the a skit or a sermon that God has placed on our heart or a song
or a testimony.
On our off days,
we've been blessed to go to the beach, see some ruins, and even a volcano
crater!
Please continue to
pray for El Salvador. Pray for the people we have encountered that Christ would
continue to move in their hearts. Pray for healing for the people in the brain
paralysis centre. Pray for the brothel down the street from where we lived. Pray
that God will bring restoration to that country and more people will come into
relationship with our living God.
Lately, I've come to the realization that God is pretty funny.
So in case you didn't know, I'm a vegetarian. And I have been for the past 6 years. But while doing the World Race, I have decided to eat whatever is served to me. And in my first country, I have been blessed with the most gracious hosts that have respected my diet. There have been meals where they make something like sausage with scrambled eggs, but Cindy, our host, would make a portion without the sausage for me.
So, this one day, we go to help build a church and some of the locals that we were working with made us lunch. On a super hot day working outside under the beating sun, we have soup for lunch. And each bowl of soup had a piece of chicken in it. We get handed bowls and I get the biggest piece of chicken that's barely fitting in my bowl and Melissa sitting beside me gets this really small piece. Melissa so kindly offers to trade me which I'm really thankful for.
Then, the other night for dinner, I get handed a tamale. I had kind of started eating it and all of a sudden, Jenny, our host/translator comes running towards me. She says, "Don't eat it Peggy!!" And shows me the chicken in my tamale. Anjali then comes next to me and tells me her tamale had a really small piece of chicken in it.
It's funny how God has given me the biggest piece of chicken both times. I think He's preparing me for Honduras.
Little did I know that when I was called to go on the World Race in August, the race actually started four years ago. To be exact, four and a half years ago.
It was the summer of 2007, right before I was going to university, I went to a Hillsong concert. At the beginning of the concert a random woman came up to me and we started having a conversation. She asked if she could pray for me and I said yes. I don't remember what she prayed about, but she did give me the name Bearnice. She asked me if I know anyone by that name and I said no. I have never heard it before and it was a pretty unique name. I kept on living life and sometimes forgetting about what had been spoken over me.
Fast forward to the present year. The Thursday of Launch we had a team briefing about ministry, etc. and Anjali, my team leader, was holding a piece of paper with our ministry contact information on it. When I read it, something clicked and I remembered what had happened four years ago.
The name of our host is Bearnice.
Until now, I have NEVER heard that name spoken anywhere or seen it written anywhere.
Until now, I knew about prophecy, but NEVER truly believed it.
That evening, I was so excited for El Salvador and for the World Race. Because God has orchestrated this WAY before I even heard about the World Race. And I knew. This is where He wants me to be.
Fast forward to Day 2 of the race. I got to share with Bearnice, our host, the prophecy. It's funny because we are all actually introduced to her as Cindy and we all call her Cindy. When I was telling her the prophecy, it spoke to her heart.
This happened on day two in our first country. God is already doing amazing things and I can't wait to see more!
